Lyrics, Poems, Jokes, Quotations, Phrases, Quotes

Bank Robbery

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action.
The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff.

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked
and burglarized. She telephoned the New York police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K9(special forces) unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K9 officer approached
the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered
at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my

Josh was helping Sally, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for. She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit." Josh said, "I can see that, but why?" Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. First blonde I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Second blonde Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what's wrong. The owner of the broken Porsche said, 'I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.' The other said, 'Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back of my Porsche.

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a WW. Not knowing what that was, he asked the blonde what it was and she told him a White Wine. So he gave her some white wine. Another blonde walks into the bar and asks the bartender for a RW. Again not knowing what it was, he asked the blonde. She told him it was a Red Wine. So he gave her some red wine. Then a 3rd blonde walks into the bar, and asks the bartender for a Double 7. Very confused, the bartender asks what is that. And the blonde says, "Duuuh! 15!".

11 women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest in Nepal. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The blondes applauded.

A blonde says to her psychiatrist, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." He replies, "Don't you have a phone in your car?" She says, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." The psychiatrist, laughing to himself, asks, "Uhh ... how's that working?" The blonde replies, "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." He asks, "And why do you think that is?" The blonde in all her wisdom replies, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around my zip - post code keeps changing.

A blonde left her car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over she checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. She went to the local garage and inquired how to fix the problem. The mechanic jokingly told her to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would be removed. So, she took the car home parked it and proceeded to blow on the pipe. Another blonde came by and inquired what she was doing. She told her she was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The other blonde responded, "That's not going to work unless you roll up the windows!"

A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes to his apartment to check on him, and sure enough, she opens the door to finds him in the arms of a buxom redhead. She is deeply enraged, and yet at the same time, shattered by his utter duplicity. Overcome with emotion, she brings out a gun and points it at her own temple. The boyfriend yells "No! Don't do it! I'm sorry! I love you!" She cocks the hammer and screams, "Shutup! You're next!"

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $100 she owed. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet.

One day a Blonde walked into the doctors office with 2 red ears.
The doctor asked what happened. She said "I was ironing and the
phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake. "What happened
to the other ear?" the doctor asked. "They called back."